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James 5

 

“Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming on you. Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days.  Look!  The wages you failed to pay the workers who mowed your fields are crying out against you.  The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty.  You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence.  You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter.  You have condemned and murdered the innocent one, who was not opposing you.

 

Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming.  See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains.  You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near.  Don’t grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged.  The Judge is standing at the door!

 

Brothers and sisters, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord.  As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered.  You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about.  The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.

 

 Above all, my brothers and sisters, do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else.  All you need to say is a simple “Yes” or “No.” Otherwise you will be condemned.

 

Is anyone among you in trouble?  Let them pray.  Is anyone happy?  Let them sing songs of praise.  Is anyone among you sick?  Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord.  And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up.  If they have sinned, they will be forgiven.  Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.  The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

 

Elijah was a human being, even as we are.  He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years.  Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops.”

 

My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins.”

 

James says a lot of things in this chapter and there are many topics.  I would like to summarize them as the following 6 topics: 

 

1. The Failure of Wealth.

2. Patience with fellow Christians.

3. Do what is appropriate.Let people enjoy their Christian liberty.

4. Confess your sins and pray for one another.

5. Have faith.

6. Try to recover those who stray.

 

The first paragraph is about the failure of wealth.  It doesn’t do any good to accumulate piles of wealth.  Gold and silver will corrode.  If you fail to pay workers their wages so you can get rich, what good does that do you?  Will you have any workers anymore?    The phrase, “You have condemned and murdered the innocent one, who was not opposing you.”  Seems to be referring to Jesus Christ, but that may dually to also refer to those Christians that were being persecuted around this time. 

 

One time I went to a church that was on the same block where I was living.  The church had a main auditorium with a wrap-around upper auditorium. Weekly attendance would fill only about ¼ of the main auditorium.  It was a “near to downtown” neighborhood.  Many of the houses in the neighborhood were converted to duplexes or apartments.  It was a lower class neighborhood.  I was elected to be a deacon of this church.  There was also a fellow Seminary student that lived on the same block and he started going to this church too.  My fellow Seminary student became a member.  One year, we were both asked to be on the Evangelism Committee.  The committee was to begin in June.  Also, on the committee were 2 other church members.  The other church members contributed greatly to the church financially.  Together, their contributions totaled about 90% of the church funding. 

 

When June started my Seminary friend and I started attending the Evangelism Committee meetings.  We were the only ones in attendance.  The 2 rich committee members had gone on vacation for the summer.  They continued to travel for the whole summer, leaving the evangelism committee meetings to my friend and me.  So we made plans for the whole summer and the fall. 

 

We had a summer fair in the church parking lot right in the middle of summer.  We canvassed the neighborhood and invited neighbors to the fair.  We had bean bag tosses and such, prizes, tricycle races.  Everything was geared to break even.  We also had a booth with Bibles to giveaway, some tracts and some Our Daily Bread’s, and some other Bible lesson handouts.  By the time the fair was over all the Bibles were gone, and nearly all the other handouts were gone.  In the weeks followed, we canvassed the neighborhood again, and again.  More people from the neighborhood started coming to church. 

 

We had a fall pot luck gathering for the neighborhood.  We had a Thanksgiving Special and we canvassed the neighborhood for that.  We canvassed the neighborhood for our Christmas Special program.  We planned to have a very evangelistic message for the Christmas Program.  The High School Sunday School class put on a unique play centered on the 3 wise men giving their testimonies about how they came to Jesus Christ and the meaning of his coming into the world.  The auditorium was packed both top and bottom and all around.

 

After New Year’s, we resumed the making of new plans for the Evangelism Committee.  One of the rich committee members said that we weren’t going to have a summer fair again because that was not the type of image they wanted portrayed for our church.  The other rich member explained that we were also going to outreach only to their own social class.  This is what we need to do for this church to survive they said.  They were convinced that it was more important to increase the amount of tithing for the church to survive.  They said they had already figured out what they were going to do.  They were going to have Bible Studies in their neighborhoods, but not in the immediate neighborhood of the church.  This meant that neither my friend nor I could host Bible Studies in our homes. 

 

From there, the church attendance began to just dwindle and kept dwindling.  My friend and I went to other churches.  5 years later, I attended there one Sunday morning just to see how it was now doing.  About 12 people were still in attendance.  The 2 rich people were no longer members either, but the church was still maintaining their finances without getting in the red.

 

The next thing that James talks about is patience.  He talks about this in reference to not grumbling against one another.  So, we need to have patience with fellow Christians.  Sometimes, churches get these adjunct organizations that reside inside the church.  There is the “Grumblers Association”, the “Holier than Thou Society,” the “Complainers Corner,” the “Fault Finders,” the “Thought Regulators,” the “Person Perfectionators,” the “No More Fun Foundation,” and the “Roast Preacher for Sunday Dinner Diner’s Club.”

 

Now, all these organization have the same leader.  Do you know who this is?  He is mentioned in the Bible.

 

He has several names such as:

 

Destroyer.

 

Opponent of Christ.

 

Worthlessness.

 

Enemy.

 

Accuser.

 

Negativity tears down.  We come to church to build one another up.  This means that we should be encouraging and reinforcing the efforts of others for their service in the church. 

 

I recently found a letter from a church goer about the complaining that was in the church he grew up in.  This is what he said:

 

“As a boy that grew up attending church services regularly the area that hurt me the most was hearing harsh comments directed at our pastor in business meetings.   It didn’t happen every time, but it did occur too often.

 

I still remember how I felt when someone would stand and publicly bring a complaint, sometimes with great fervency, against my pastor.   One night he was attacked so severely by an individual that he resigned on the spot.   (The next week he rescinded it and the congregation accepted it).

 

Those negative comments and strong words about someone whom I looked up to affected me profoundly.   But the collateral damage wasn’t limited to me.   It impacted my friends and other young people in the church.   Many of them don’t attend church to this day.   I believe one of the primary reasons was the public complaining and verbal carping at our pastor over petty issues. 

 

God requires church members to follow their spiritual leaders as long as they are walking with God.   The Bibles states that one of the reasons for loyalty is that “it is unprofitable” for those that resist and gripe about their pastor.

Hear God’s Word to the members of a local church – “Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you.”   (Hebrews 13:17)

 

The word “unprofitable” means “to cause great harm or destruction”.     Again, the innocent victims of our negativity and griping toward spiritual leaders are our children; young ears that cannot understand the issue at hand, but can only discern the harsh spirit in which the words are delivered.

 

A little comment thoughtlessly given has far-reaching consequences.   Sometimes to future generations.    God warns us about the incredible damage small things (like a few words or a few sentences) can do.

Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

 

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.  Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. “

 (James 3:5-10)

 

If we realized the ripple effect of our griping and criticisms we would guard our words carefully.   God has instructed us to serve Him without complaining.  In a context of obeying and serving He tells us to “do all things without murmurings and disputings”.   (Philippians 2:14)

 

The word “murmurings” carries the idea of doing something with reluctance or resentment and complaining about it.    The word “disputings” means “to debate” and has the idea of a discussion characterized by arguing or a heated disagreement.

 

I think God connected the two words (murmuring and disputing) because they are related.   It is easy for a complaint to degenerate into an argument.    A church dominated by complaining and dissension will implode from within.

Certainly there are times to stand for the truth, particularly the foundational and essential doctrines of the faith (Jude 3).   However, the sad truth is that the vast majority of church splits and contentious business meetings are not over any doctrinal issues, but personal preferences (color of carpet, policies, programs, insignificant matters).

 

The late D. James Kennedy wrote, “Most people think of the church as a drama with the minister as the chief actor, God as the prompter, and the congregation as the critic.  What is actually the case is that the congregation is the chief actor, the minister is the prompter, and God is the critic”.

 

There is much wisdom in his statement.    What is sad to me is the line, “…people think of the…congregation as the critic…”.

 

Earlier I mentioned we attended church faithfully, and we did.   Dad and Mom didn’t ask us to go, they required it and took us.   There were only a handful of people that seemed to thrive on controversy and challenged our pastor, publicly and privately.

 

This marked me in a painful way emotionally.   However, something greater than the complaining and negativity of a few was able to salvage the damage to my young soul.  It was my parents.

 

When we came home from church riding in the car together, sitting around our table for lunch, and during the week, Mom or Dad never said a negative word about the leadership at the church.   I mean never.

I’m sure there were times when they didn’t agree with every decision; that is simply human nature.   Disagreement is not wrong as long as it is expressed respectfully.    I love my wife very much and she loves me and we don’t agree on every subject.   So, I’m not advocating a “Pollyanna” attitude, being blindly optimistic, or even stupidly following a leader.

 

The primary issue I’m attempting to highlight is that Melanie, Hoss and myself never heard criticisms about our spiritual authorities from our parents.   Today, my sister is a pastor’s wife, my brother is a missionary that travels all over the world sharing the gospel, and I am a pastor.

 

I’m not elevating roles of occupational Christian ministry as being more significant than others.   My father labored with his hands and he was just as called to serve Christ and important as anyone in occupational ministry.   Mom worked in the office in a high school for over thirty years.    They loved Christ as much as any pastor. 

 

It was their willingness to guard their words that enabled their children to oversee some ugly things (there weren’t many, gratefully) in our church to go on become leaders in local church ministry.   I don’t believe that would have happened if they had complained about the church, it’s programs and the leaders.

Honestly, I hesitated to publish this post, not because it is unimportant or that I don’t believe it.   It’s because I’m a pastor and it sounds so self-serving.   I offer it because it is one of the simplest, but most important ways parents (and fellow church members) can help their children (and other children) to go on and serve the Lord, just by guarding our words.

 

I don’t want others to have to experience the confusion and pain I did when I saw people war against someone whom I respected and loved – and needed in my life – my pastor.  This matter is crucial not only to the present health of a local church, but also to it’s future.    Children and teenagers that hear people fight, even occasionally, in church (usually during business meetings) are affected far more than we realize, and for far longer.

 

Many years ago I was praying with several men for God to do a work in the church where I now pastor.   A couple of years before I came to this church it went through some very tumultuous times.    This dear man had experienced them and so had his family.

 

When it came time for him to pray he could barely speak.   With a broken heart, tears on his cheeks, and in a halting voice he talked to God.   “Heavenly Father, please help my children.   I don’t know what they are going to do because of the negative things they have seen in our church.   Have mercy on us”.  

I can’t think of anything more sad than that – to take your children to church and have them negatively impacted when your heart was to see them influenced for good.

 

No church is perfect and won’t be until Christ comes to make her blameless.   In the meanwhile let’s “do all things without murmurings and disputings”.   (Philippians 2:13)   It can make a lasting, positive difference in the lives of our young people.

 

If we fail to do so, those older and more seasoned, will usually see through negative words and survive.   Our children do not have the maturity to have that perspective.   The stakes are higher than we realize.”

 

End of Letter

 

Even pastors can be complainers.  The following story is about a manipulative and complaining pastor, but anyone in a church can be like this:

 

A committee was put in place to replace our pastor and the committee decided to hire a dynamic young man from Louisiana. The man had been a traveling preacher, moving from church to church to perform revivals, to tell people about Jesus. He was a tall man and loud. He flailed his arms as he spoke. He talked about God’s power, about God’s wrath, about God’s love and to be honest he was quite moving. He was incredible at getting people to respond. He had a sharp sense of humor, would occasionally say shocking things to test our loyalty and see if we would turn on him or go with him, he knew the Bible inside and out and knew how to play human emotions like a fiddle. On any given Sunday we would experience a range of emotions from guilt and shame to fear and sometimes joy.

 

I even remember his first sermon. It was entitled “Appoint those you trust and trust those you appoint.” That should have been an obvious sign to everybody. He was saying, without question, if you hire me to be your pastor, I am the boss. You must never question my authority.

 

Soon, the entire congregation fell under his spell. We loved it when he delighted in us but feared screwing up. One Sunday he snapped at the man working in the sound booth so sharply the man turned red from embarrassment. The pastor, realizing he’d gone too far, explained, ferociously, that God is a God of excellence and wouldn’t stand for mistakes, even from volunteer sound guys. He then quoted a passage about how we were supposed to be perfect even as Christ is perfect.

 

Looking back, this was all manipulation. People who care about the truth understand they are capable of self-deception and surround themselves with accountability. This pastor got rid of the accountability. He drove off any elder who wouldn’t submit, once again, quoting scripture and spinning the Bible so that those questioning his motives looked like infidels. He even said he felt justified using violence against them, simply because they refused to trust the leader God had appointed.

 

What made the situation so difficult is that the church in fact grew. His knowledge of Scripture gave the congregation a sense of security. In fact, I’d say a sense of security is the main reason people were drawn to the church.

When extremely unhealthy, controlling personalities are stressed, they get great relief and a feeling of power by dominating others.  What happens under the spell of a master manipulator is people unknowingly submit their sense of security to somebody else. They relinquish the responsibility God has given them to govern their own lives to a powerful figure who says to them “look, just do what I say and you’ll be fine.”

 

What they don’t realize is the extremely insecure manipulator is gaining security from controlling people, not from protecting them. He only wants to surround himself by those who are weak and who will not question him. He subconsciously considers this his layer of armor. The manipulated masses are his protection against outside intruders.

 

Many people came to know Christ under the manipulative pastor’s regime. And anytime he was questioned, he used his knowledge of Scripture statistics about church growth and Christian conversions (though they were greatly exaggerated), and change the subject to bolster his case and run off accusers. Most people were afraid to contend with him because they knew he would attack them ferociously.

 

The church, then, became a revolving door. More than half the people who visited smelled him out and went away, and the pastor didn’t mind this at all. He only wanted the submissive, those who would allow him, using scripture, to guide and command every aspect of their lives. He even posted the names of tithing and non-tithing members in the lobby. Those who disagreed with him were written up as insubordinates to God in letters sent to the entire congregation, humiliating them and running them off for good. He even went as far as to threaten lawsuits.

 

And yet, as said previously, the church grew, filled with submissive people. The more intuitive walked away rolling their eyes.

 

The pastor, of course, grew more and more controlling. He told the congregation what they could and couldn’t read, what they could and couldn’t watch on television, what they could and couldn’t see at the movies and even who they could and couldn’t vote for.

 

Things grew very dark, however, one evening when the pastor found out one of the elders he wanted to get rid of had visited a bar on the edge of town. The man and his wife had gone on a double date with some friends and went out to the bar to hear a band. Somebody informed the pastor and he had the elder paged and told him to meet him at his office. What unfolded was nothing short of a scolding and a witch hunt. The pastor embarrassed the elder and belittled him and informed the church he’d asked for his resignation from the elder board. The elder hadn’t so much as sipped a beer, but the pastor wanted to get rid of him anyway.

 

Within a few weeks, the elder took a gun from his gun cabinet, and took his life.

 

The pastor, of course, felt no remorse, claiming the event on the elder’s secret life in which he visited bars.

 

Ultimately, the power-mongering was too much and too many people began to leave.  This pastor decided to destroy the church before he left. He slowly fired every member of the staff, then resigned to start a non-church non-profit. 

 

The church, some twenty years later, has not recovered from the destruction. There will never be restoration or reconciliation because a manipulator will never repent.”

 

End of story.

 

James gives a solution in verses 10-11:

 

“Brothers and sisters, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. 11 As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about.”

 

All church members should be patient with all other church members, and remember to persevere. 

 

One of the most impressive examples of perseverance is that of the Apostle Paul given in 2 Corinthians 11:24-28,

 

“Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one.  Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea,  I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my fellow Jews, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false believers.  I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked.  Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches.”

 

If anyone had a reason to complain, it was the Apostle Paul.  Did he complain?  No, instead he said, “The God and Father of the Lord Jesus, who is to be praised forever.”

 

So, be patient and persevere.

 

The next thing that James wants to impress on the believers is to do what is appropriate, in verse 13 to 16:

 

“Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise.  Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord.  And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven.”

 

There is a lot of Christian liberty in the New Testament.  This paragraph is telling us to allow the things that a church is there for to take place.  Prayer, singing, praise, healing, and forgiveness.  Different Christians will have different needs.  Different Christians will have different avenues of ministry to other Christians.  Different Christians will have a different path to Jesus.  They should all be looking at Jesus, but they are all in a different place in their life.  When God fills this church again, he will NOT fill it with clones of me.  And he is NOT going to fill it with clones of you. 

 

When we sin against each other, we should confess our sins and pray for each other. Verse 16:

 

“Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

 

And when we pray as such we need to believe that God will heal.  Verse 17 and 18,

 

“Elijah was a human being, even as we are. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years.  Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops.”

 

So we should pray, believe God will heal and leave the issue right there. 

 

This isn’t the main business of a church.  Unfortunately, some churches has made this their main business. 

 

After church one Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided I'm going to be a Priest when I grow up."

That's okay with us," the mother said, "but what made you decide to be a Priest?"

"Well," the boy replied, "I'll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to sit in a Confessional Box and listen to juicy Stories.”

 

One time, I was invited to a minister’s breakfast on Saturday mornings.  I went there and there was one Pastor there that told this story about one of his parishioners that had an affair on her husband.  As the story went, the man she had an affair with was a twin.  One time she got up and went to the bathroom only to find out the twin waiting in the bathroom.  The next week, I went to the same meeting.   All the same ministers were there.  The same minister told the same story.  So I went to the breakfast for a third time.  All the same people, and the same story as well.  This is NOT what church ministry is about!  So that was the last time I went to that meeting. 

 

When Jesus gave us our commission, he said, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.”

 

So, we have 3 major things in our commission:

 

Making Disciples.

 

Baptizing.

 

Teaching.

 

I don’t see grumbling there.  I don’t see complaining there.  I don’t see fault finding, thought regulating, or people perfecting. 

 

Teaching involves instructing, but it does not involve looking for faults.  Like verses 10 and 11 say, we should have faith the people will do as they are taught. 

 

Some of the 10 commandments are internal commands.  “Love the Lord your God,” is something that each person has to do for themselves.  “You shall not covet,” has to do with one’s thoughts.  You can’t police people’s thoughts.  It is not possible.  Jesus internalized the other commandments as well. 

 

You shall not murder, becomes also, you shall not be angry at your brother or sister.

 

You shall not commit adultery also becomes you shall not lust.

 

It is just not possible to monitor people’s thoughts. 

 

Yet James tells us that we should bring back a brother or sister that has wandered in verses 19 and 20,

 

“My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins.”

 

Now how do we know a brother or sister has strayed?  We can’t read their thoughts.  Neither can we assume we know their intentions. 

 

When a brother or sister strays, it will be obvious.  We will know by their actions, it will be obvious and it will be a violation of one of the 10 commandments. 

 

So how do we deal with such situations?

 

First, make sure a definite sin has occurred.  Galatians 5:19-21 says, “The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

 

Second, make sure it is provable.  Galatians 6:1 says, “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.”  So, it has to be something provable that they were caught in.  It is not about someone’s opinion.  It is not because you think they sin, and it is not because you disagree with them on something. 

 

Third, understand you should restore that person gently.  Galatians 5:24-26 says, “Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.  Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.  Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.”   It takes time to crucify the flesh and learn to live by the Spirit.  So, we should deal with people gently and be patient with them. 

 

Fourth, the first contact should be between just the fallen person and one brother or sister.  Matthew 18:15 says, “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.”  If a person repents, there is no reason to make the sin known to others.  Let them improve.  It would be unwise to make a private sin a public sin because this would reflect on the whole church. 

 

Fifth, take one or two people with you to talk to the fallen person. Matthew 18:16 says, “But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.”

 

Sixth, if they still refuse to improve, then take it to the whole church. Matthew 18:17 says, “If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”

 

Lastly, if all attempts to discipline the believer fail to bring change and repentance, the person will be removed from the fellowship of the church.

 

If they repent, reaffirm your love to them. 2 Corinthians 2:8, “I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him.”

 

Now, at times there may be legitimate complaints.  Perhaps, there is something that is not a sin, but it can be improved upon.  There is a proper way to deal with such things.

 

In Numbers 11:14, Moses complained to the Lord that the burden of leading all the Israelites was too much, “I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me.”  So in verse 16, “The Lord said to Moses: “Bring me seventy of Israel’s elders who are known to you as leaders and officials among the people. Have them come to the tent of meeting, that they may stand there with you.  I will come down and speak with you there, and I will take some of the power of the Spirit that is on you and put it on them. They will share the burden of the people with you so that you will not have to carry it alone.”

 

Acts 6:1 records a legitimate complaint: “In those days when the number of disciples was increasing, the Hellenistic Jews among them complained against the Hebraic Jews because their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food.”

 

So the first rule to making a legitimate complaint is to make sure you have a legitimate complaint.  Do some research about the problem.  Make sure you understand the background and the problem well.  Pray about the situation.  Ask yourself if you are reacting or acting.  If you are just reacting to something, then you are probably in the wrong.

 

Second, think about what you are going to say and how to say it.  If it is not an obvious sin you are addressing, then make sure you don’t address it as a sin.  Address it for what it actually is.

 

Third, ask permission from the one you want to complain before making your complaint.  I recently had a neighbor lady make a complaint to me.  She started by saying, “I would like to point out something, but I don’t want you to get mad at me.  May I point something out? 

 

“Sure,” I said.

 

Then she said, “I notice that you wear socks with a band in them and you pull the band down just above your ankles.  You can get blood clots that way.  I know because I was a nurse.  Let make a suggestion.  What you want to do at your age is wear compression socks, the ones that go way up above the calf.  These will do the best at keeping blood clots from forming.”

 

I was very thankful for her advice.  Now I wear compression socks.

 

Fourth, make sure to make your complaints about the behavior or action or result, rather than the person (distinguish the behavior of the person from the person themselves). Don’t ever say, “The problem with you is …!” Rather say, “When you do this [insert particular behavior here] it irritates me because …. “ Notice that my neighbor lady made the issue about socks that can cause blood clots, not me doing something wrong. 

 

Fifth, be selective who you complain to.  Don’t go around complaining to everyone possible.  Complain to those that can make the improvements.

 

Sixth, have a possible solution to the problem.  Present it as a suggestion.  Don’t try to force it through. 

 

Seventh, be open to the possibility that you might be mistaken.  Ask some clarifying questions to make sure you have all the facts.  Now, I have a policy of always being right.  I have actually figured out how to do that.  That is done by always being willing to be wrong.

 

Eighth, be willing to help the person you are complaining to.  If you aren’t willing to be part of the solution, then you are the problem. 

 

Now there are also ways to deal with people that are repeat grumblers who consistently make wrongful complaints.  There were some problem complainers in the New Testament.

 

For instance there was Diotrephes in 3 John 9-10,

 

“I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will not welcome us.  So when I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, spreading malicious nonsense about us. Not satisfied with that, he even refuses to welcome other believers. He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the church.”

 

The Apostle Paul also noted some division causers in Romans 16:17-18,

 

“I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them.  For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people.”

 

The first thing to do when you encounter this is to cool off.  Such a thing is likely to make one angry.  1 Peter 3:9 says,

 

“Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.”

 

Secondly, research the accusation.  See if you can find out why there is a complaint.  Ask the accuser for more information.  There might be a legitimate cause and it is just blown way out of proportion.  The complainer might have incomplete information and the issue could be resolved with more complete information.  You might be able to direct the accuser to the real problem and direct attention to that, so that the problem could be solved simply.  So even if you have to deal with a false accuser, you need to be careful about the situation to make sure you have all the facts.  As it says in 1 Timothy 5:19-20,

 

“Do not entertain an accusation against an elder unless it is brought by two or three witnesses.  But those elders who are sinning you are to reprove before everyone, so that the others may take warning.”

 

Thirdly, realize that if this is truly a false complaint, then the complainer is committing a serious sin.  The grumbler is violating one of the Ten Commandments.  He should be reminded that he is in violation of the 9th commandment found in Exodus 20:16,

 

 “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.”

 

The punishment for this was given in the Old Testament as follows in Deuteronomy 19:16-19,

 

“If a malicious witness takes the stand to accuse someone of a crime, the two people involved in the dispute must stand in the presence of the Lord before the priests and the judges who are in office at the time.  The judges must make a thorough investigation, and if the witness proves to be a liar, giving false testimony against a fellow Israelite, then do to the false witness as that witness intended to do to the other party. You must purge the evil from among you.”

 

The New Testament also says that we should purge falsehoods from among us.  1 Peter 2:1,

 

“Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind.”

 

Titus 3:9-11,

 

“But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them.  You may be sure that such people are warped and sinful; they are self-condemned.”

 

Finally, remember that the manner in which we do things should be done civilly.

 

Philippians 2:14,

 

“Do everything without grumbling or arguing.”